1. Book a stand late and get placed in the back corner next to the storage containers.
2. Don't fill out the organiser forms so you don't get listed in the show guide or event marketing materials.
3. Arrive five minutes before the show starts so you’re still setting up after the show has opened.
4. Regularly leave the stand unattended with a "back in 5" note attached to the wall (an oldie but a goodie).
5. Provide only very basic promotional material at your stand – a photocopied A4 poster on the back wall will do nicely.
6. Eat and drink regularly while you’re on the stand. Especially large hamburgers.
7. Consistently scroll on your smartphone, and don't acknowledge anyone (unless it’s Dave from stand 57 delivering your hamburger).
8. Don't tell any prospects about your stand or invite them to the show.
9. Hire a temporary contractor (or your cousin’s neighbour) to help work the stand. Ensure he/she has no knowledge of or passion for your products.
10. Under no circumstances should you contact Trade Show Training. They’re good. Trust me. I know the owner.